1. Should someone change?
This is a question that only the person in question can answer for themselves. The environment around a person, is generally a big contributor in turning normal people into problematic people.
2. Do they want to change / need to change?
The need to find peace, must come from within and from people they trust unflinchingly. People ,who have no stake in their life can preach day and night, but to face the problems, someone has to emotionally connect with them, sometimes rationally sometimes even irrationally.
3. Envision why do they need to change and how is change going to help them?
Helping a person in need of change requires engagement at multiple levels, sometimes emotionally sometimes financially and sometimes in terms of encouragement. The aim, must be to keep reaching for the prize and they surprise you with how far they can walk.
4. Do they want to change big or go the gradual way?
Both processes need diligence, patience and endurance. The best way is to be supportive, but firm on issues that are non resolvable at times.
5. How to deal with the relapses in old behaviors?
Relapses are always going to occur. The length and strength however, depends on the amount of good support available to them. Small or big, problems can always be managed but managing people, is often done by gut instinct and loads of care.